Many women do not experience orgasm during sex, and if they do, it is very rare. They are used to treating this phenomenon as a lottery: lucky – no luck. But in vain. We will talk today about how to experience an orgasm and why you should not ignore its absence.
Orgasm is the pinnacle, the culmination of sexual arousal, which is accompanied by a great sense of pleasure and enjoyment. Orgasm is a rather complex psychophysiological process and it occurs in the brain, between the ears, and not between the legs, as many people think. Due to the fact that a woman is a more sensitive and romantic nature, emotional intimacy, confidence in her partner and his reliability, in how he treats her, whether they often have conflicts, disagreements, quarrels are very important to her. If the relationship is harmonious and sensual, then she can show her real feelings, her passion and ardor and, finally, her orgasm, without being embarrassed or holding back. Purely physiologically, it is characterized by several contractions, spasms of the outer part of the vagina, which last an average of 3-5 to 20-30 seconds. By localization, there are mainly: clitoral – it is experienced by about 70-80% of women, vaginal – 10-15% and a mixed type of orgasm, which is experienced by about 5-10% of women. Orgasm can occur during intercourse – this is a coital orgasm, and outside of intercourse it occurs with self-stimulation. Downstream, orgasm is divided into single, multiple or multi-orgasm, short-term and protracted. Intensity: weak, moderate, strong. There are also other, rather rare varieties of orgasm: a jet or squirt orgasm associated with stimulation of the U point – this is the point of the urethra, and the secretion of the paraurethral glands, which usually act as a protection for the urethra. There are also anal, cervical, nipple orgasm, orgasm in a dream and others. If this is not a squirt orgasm, then at the moment of her climax, a woman does not secrete anything, unlike a man’s ejaculation, and therefore some women can fake their orgasm.
One of the most important sexual stages is foreplay, or prelude, where the process of excitation in general and the genital organs in particular takes place, in which all human sense analyzers participate: visual, auditory, olfactory, tactile, gustatory. Basically, men like to watch more, and women like to listen. No wonder they say: a man loves with his eyes, and a woman with her ears. Here, the search for erogenous zones of each, a gentle effect on these zones, the creation of a favorable environment, the duration of foreplay, and much more is important. One of the key factors of this stage is the mood and the right thoughts in the head of both partners, which do not interfere, but only help to achieve and experience maximum pleasure. In terms of time, the foreplay stage generally lasts 15–20 minutes, but, of course, there are individual variations: someone likes fast and lightning-fast sex with minimal foreplay, while it is important for someone to stretch the pleasure.
Female and male orgasm are very different concepts, and the mechanism of their onset is very different. A female orgasm may not always be, and this can be regarded both as a norm and as a pathology. Here, the very attitude of a woman to orgasm, her desire to achieve maximum pleasure is important. It is believed that the peak of sexual skill is the mutual and simultaneous orgasm of both partners, which is more often present in a harmonious and loving couple. In a man, after his orgasm, desire disappears sharply – due to the peculiarities of the male body. And that partner is good who, after sexual intercourse, devotes time to his half, saying pleasant words and hugging her, and does not immediately turn away to sleep. If a woman has her own desire to experience orgasm (and not her partner’s desire, as is often the case), then with the help of psychotherapeutic and sexological treatment tactics, the desired results can often be achieved. Problems in the sexual sphere, such as anorgasmia, lack of libido, different sexual constitutions, and others, can lead to sexual disharmony between partners. Often there are grievances, disagreements and even betrayals in the life of a couple. Very often, these problems are associated not only with sexual, but also with family, interpersonal relationships, personality traits, the presence of frequent quarrels and discord in the family. Most often, disharmony in the family is characterized as family-sexual, separately family or sexual disharmony is rare. It must be remembered that always when there is a misunderstanding of each other, in the absence of harmony, respect, love in a couple, problems arise in a very tender and fragile sexual sphere, which suffers primarily in your relationship. Normal harmonious family-sexual relationships are possible subject to mutual voluntary desire to maintain or improve these relationships.
The duration of sexual intercourse is a variable value and may depend on various circumstances: on the frequency of sexual activity, on the situation, on the partner, on the positions in sex, on the state of health, and on many other reasons. The average duration of the sexual intercourse itself with a regular frequency is 3-5 minutes, but again there are individual characteristics in a couple in different directions in time. With the “correct” preparation of a woman in foreplay, the average duration of sexual intercourse is basically enough for the partner to experience an orgasm. If an orgasm does not occur and this worries both or someone in a couple, then you need to understand the causes of the violations, but from my experience I can say that the duration of sexual intercourse is not so often the basis for the absence or disappearance of orgasm.
Today, the phenomenon of coital anorgasmia is quite common (when a woman can experience orgasy with the help of any methods or devices other than natural sexual contact with her partner). With the mutual desire of partners, this problem is mainly successfully corrected by psychotherapeutic and sexological methods of therapy. Of great importance in this case is the duration of the relationship in a couple, trust, mutual understanding, openness of feelings and emotions between each other. It is important to understand that there is no “magic pill” in the treatment of many sexological problems that many dream of. There are no guilty couples in a loving couple, and even more so, you don’t need to look for them, and if there is a problem, you need to try to solve it together, and if you can’t, then with the help of a specialist in this field. Do not be afraid to admit that you have a problem, and even more so to let everything take its course. Many people think: somehow over time it will pass and get better, you can wait. Perhaps they are right, but the problem may grow like a snowball, and a solution will still need to be found, but at a deeper level. It is better to seek help in the primary stages of the onset of the disease.
The G-spot in women exists, despite the fact that not everyone can find it. It is a section of the anterior part of the vagina at a depth of 2-5 cm behind the pubic bone and urethra. If you wish, you can try to look for the cherished point on your own or together with a partner, but due to individual characteristics and anatomical and physiological structure, this point may not be sensitive, and not every woman can experience a vaginal orgasm when stimulating the cherished point. Do not be afraid to experiment, in sex there are no prescribed algorithms or patterns on how to act in a given situation, since the problems and circumstances are very different and individual, and each couple has their own.
The presence or absence of an orgasm in a woman is rarely associated only with the size of the penis, here the partner’s attentiveness, his experience and the ability to feel a woman are more important. What and how she likes, what caresses, touches, poses. It’s not for nothing that they say: “Whether it’s horseradish or a carrot, it’s not the vegetable that matters, but skill!” The most sensitive areas are the first 3-7 cm of the vagina, depending on its size. There are many nerve endings in this place, and most women enjoy the stimulation of the labia, the entrance to the vagina, the clitoris. There are also physiological features of partners, when, for example, the large size of the penis can cause discomfort and pain during intercourse in a petite woman. When these sensations occur, orgasm cannot be experienced. Situations are often individual in nature, and a sensitive and attentive approach in the intimate and delicate sexological sphere is very important. If you think that you as a couple have problems of a sexological nature and they cannot be solved, then be sure to visit a specialist who will try to help with this.