How to let go of a breakup? (Relationship Counselling)

Many couples and partners often feel difficult in intimate relationships. The intimacy between two people should be good, but it is often easy for two people to have different personalities, original families, and different growth environments. The emotional imbalance between them leads to the future of the breakup. The core psychological counseling office is aimed at intimate relationship counseling, and we will share with you about the relationship between couples and how to get out of the breakup.

Lovelorn, affair, should I do psychological counseling?

I started counseling because one of my reproductive program participant and a good and kind-hearted female friend of mine had an affair and ended the relationship, but the counseling actually took a lot longer than I thought, and it has been more than a year until the woman got happy and found her peace. In the middle, a friend asked me why I would consider continuing the counseling, or wondered what changes would be made in such a long-term counseling.

The main reason I continue to counsel is because the counselor has helped me to gradually see some of the issues that are my own while repairing the lingering wounds of a previous relationship. They didn’t originate in a previous relationship, but as the tension in the relationship increased, they started to have some negative effects on my previous relationship or myself. For example, I can slowly observe some phenomena or feelings:

7 points of self-awareness in a partnership

  • I seem to be overpaying in relationships
  • I always hate myself inexplicably
  • I’ve been longing for an ideal person who can understand me and save me
  • I always feel empty, bored, unhappy
  • I feel so far away from everyone, I don’t understand them and they don’t understand me
  • My opinion of others seems to fluctuate with my mood
  • As long as there is a small sign, I will be very anxious that the relationship will be broken, so I will choose to withdraw early…

These feelings I didn’t know very well about my feelings prior to my counseling session, and I tried to avoid situations that would produce them, and I avoided talking about them with anyone. Shall we count as Major Depressive Disorder, Complex post-traumatic stress disorder, or Borderline Personality Disoder? These diagnoses are for the convenience of professionals to communicate and evaluate treatment options, but in fact, every living person is much more complicated than these descriptions on paper. Even if it is the same depression, in her lifeline, It’s also different for the same reasons. Knowing the proper nouns can help you know yourself a little bit more, but ultimately you have to know yourself through your story.”

You must know how to express your emotions before you can identify them

So then I chose to work with a counselor to explore the full picture of my personal issues. The counselor would try to accompany and guide my emotions, and through feedback taught me to identify those emotions and get along with them. The process at the beginning was actually very difficult. After the consultation every week, my mood would probably be low for two or three days. After finally adjusting my mood, it was almost time for the next consultation. At that time, I often hated myself who had been at a low ebb, and often felt very hopeless.

But I’ve come to realize that it’s important to be unguarded by being exposed to these feelings. Because these feelings suggest what is really lacking in my life, which pursuits are consistent with my goals and which are contradictory. Which are important and which should be discarded. Which are reasonable and which are impractical. On the other hand, “willing” to be knocked down by these feelings, lying at the bottom, can truly recognize his seemingly ineffective struggles, pursuits, and even escaping for many years, which is actually quite remarkable. Only then can I applaud from the bottom of my heart for every little bit of progress I made.

Understand the interdependence of people in relationships

Another thing I’ve come to understand during the long consultation process is that human beings are really a very dependent creature. A bad relationship can erode a person’s heart, and a good relationship can inspire a person’s heart far more than I originally thought. The counselor’s stable and receptive feedback will gradually be internalized into inner confidence, and unconsciously, his views on himself and the whole world will be much more confident and stable, and he will be more able to respond to various types of people and people. various ideas.

For example, when I was growing up, most of my family and friends would describe me as sensitive and not very easy to get along with. But looking back now, the real reason for the pain wasn’t the acuity, but my acuity developed to allow me to monitor the possibility of my relationships disappearing, and I’m always in a position where there’s any sign of it, it’s a burden. In the state where the money is about to escape, it is commonly known as “a lot of small theaters” and “glass hearts are broken all over the floor”.

I didn’t realize that my little theater was amplifying everything around me at all times. It was through the company and feedback of the counselor that I gradually noticed that no matter how real and intense my feelings were, how anxious or fearful they were, they were still far from the truth. And far from the outcome I feared, I actually still have room to express, respond, or change.

Now, I actually still have a lot of work to do. For example, I am still very resistant to really trusting and relying on people. I still like to maintain myself in a state of independence and can escape at any time. But now I am more at ease with myself, at least I know the starting point of my story in the past, and I am the one who holds the pen and continues to write, and I am not alone in this world. This is the kind of peace I never imagined I could get before my long-term counseling sessions.

Yes, you cannot erase the past. But you can prepare yourself today to open a new door for a trusted and quality raised relationship and let yourself be life-long happy and always daily keep the joy alive in your heart. I am not a magician, also a human being, but because I made it again and again in my own life, helping in time for life of hundreds of others through the diverse globe. So let the miracle happen in your life.