Self-forgiveness increases self-esteem. To forgive, one must know why one is not able to forgive oneself and why one cannot forgive oneself easily.
No human is perfect. Mistakes are an inseparable part of human life and forgiveness is a way to get rid of the torment of conscience caused by guilt and error. It may seem very difficult at first to forgive others, but knowing that forgiving oneself is much more difficult than forgiving others, but why?
Things are not always right. Although our activities and actions are often a reflection of our personality, this is not always the case. It is always harder to forgive ourselves than to forgive others. It is as if we are not so hard on others as we are.
Do not forget that “we have to forgive ourselves, because we deserve it and life goes on”
“Forgiveness can reduce stress and thus strengthen the immune system, ” say researchers . “Forgiveness (especially self-forgiveness) can alleviate mental illnesses and disorders such as depression and anxiety , and by reducing internal anger, it can lead to better mental health, heart and general health,” they said.
Why do not we forgive ourselves?
There are several reasons why a person can not forgive easily. These reasons include the following:
- Feeling sorry for yourself
The biggest obstacle to our forgiveness is our desire to free ourselves from guilt. The problem is not just that we feel bad because we know we did something wrong. Everyone knows this. But some of us actually wrap those bad feelings around ourselves like a blanket, put our heads under it, and stop mourning.
You have the right to be surprised, but some of us do just that. Mourning is what the victim should do, not the wrongdoer. But some of us use those bad feelings like a spell to ward off the bad consequences of our actions. We turn a corner and say: How bad am I? I am poor! I’m pitiful! It is not fair for me to be punished more than this!
Sometimes you may not only feel guilty and hated for your actions, but also ashamed of your thoughts and feelings. For example, the desire to hurt or hurt others may lead to guilt. Anger, jealousy, lust and greed are emotions that can lead to feelings of guilt or remorse. It may be difficult to forgive ourselves for having such thoughts because sometimes we are not fully aware of these feelings.
- False thoughts
Forgiveness does not simply mean ignoring a problem. The concept of forgiveness goes beyond that. Unfortunately, there are many misconceptions about giving that will be a big obstacle to this beautiful concept, for example, many people think that being able to forgive is a sign of your inner weakness. If the ability to develop empathy and understanding in times of injury and trouble is never easy. In many cases, forgiveness is much harder than allowing yourself to remain angry and remorseful.
- Frequent review of the issue
Many people naturally go through the negative emotions over and over again. In this situation, these people define the trend of the situation for those around them, or better to say, they confess in order to challenge themselves more. Usually people who are not ready to make changes within themselves can hardly forgive themselves, but instead achieve something like forgiveness in which they prefer to ignore it instead of admitting their mistake and making a change. To take or make excuses for him.
For these 11 reasons, try to forgive yourself
- For the sake of your past
- Because of your broken relationships
- Because of your weaknesses
- Because of your minor mistakes
- Because of the people you judged
- For the sake of your destroyed hopes and aspirations
- Because of the criticism you made of yourself
- Because of the stairs you ruined behind
- Because of your shortcomings at work
- Because of the times when you were selfish
- Because of the times when you were lazy
Not forgiving oneself is directly related to lack of self-esteem. Self-esteem helps us to love ourselves, to love ourselves and to strive for personal growth and development. A person with self-esteem is proud of himself because he gives himself a high score in having his values and mental ideals. Such a person can forgive himself and knows that human beings make mistakes and errors greatly help people to better understand different aspects of life.
Take responsibility for your actions. Researchers say that taking responsibility for one’s actions is the first step in forgiving oneself properly. By accepting responsibility and accepting that you have done things that have hurt others, you can avoid negative feelings such as regret and guilt.
Allow yourself to feel remorse. Feelings of guilt are not always bad; It allows you to think about the consequences of your actions, to empathize with others, and to look for ways to improve yourself. The key is to allow yourself to experience regret without feeling guilty.
- Coming back
Compensate for your actions. One way to forgive your mistakes is to correct them. Apologize for wrongdoing and look for ways to compensate those you have hurt.
Find positive things to do that will motivate you to move forward. How can you become a better person with this experience? What can you do to prevent these behaviors from happening again in the future? Self-forgiveness often requires a way to learn from experience and grow as a human being.
Stop blaming yourself and try to love yourself. When we become aware of our inner values, love and respect will crystallize in us. We will realize that by relying on ourselves we can move forward and succeed in the path we are taking. One who does not have enough self-esteem and does not consider himself worthy and forgiving enough will constantly wander in the twisting and dark tunnels of defeat. Fortunately, there is always a solution to every problem. We just have to be on the right track to solve the problems. By identifying the problem and finding the right solution, one can forgive oneself and try again for prosperity and happiness.