The acquaintance between people and all things is a kind of fate. No matter whether the other person is good or evil, I will use my kindness to treat him. Sometimes I may get hurt, but I have no regrets, because a hundred years of cultivation have been carried on the same boat, and a thousand years of cultivation have been able to sleep together.
Q: I want to ask the Chan Master, my girlfriend and I truly love each other, but her parents think that we are against each other and oppose us. How should we face it?
M: When we choose the other half, we actually choose another way of life. Let me provide you with a case. There is a Ph.D. from Harvard University. He has been doing dissertations on marriage surveys. He went to the school to ask students and said that marriage is love. When he went to the court to investigate, it was totally different. He cited two things. He is obsessed with cleanliness and is a vegetarian. But his wife is very casual and loves to eat meat. The two people quarrel on this issue all day long. Although everyone loves each other, in the end still can’t go on, only divorce. Do you think there is no love in this?
There is another story. The two graduated from the same university and finally came together. The man has a lot of brothers in his family. He is the eldest son. Whenever there is something at home, he rushes to the city to find them. The child has no money to study, and the family needs to buy fertilizer. Originally, the lives of the two of them were not particularly rich. They were picked here and there. The other students who graduated bought houses and cars, and the two of them lived fast. Finally, he chose to divorce.
What does this show? When we choose the other half, we choose a new way of life.
Q: Lies is everywhere in real life. If you know that your friends lied to you and you have discovered the truth, should you try to expose it, or should you pretend to be confused?
M: If you should open it, then you should open it; when it shouldn’t, don’t open it. Maybe he has an unspeakable concealment of lying, and you should not feel uncomfortable because of the lies.
Q: The previous generation of my husband made a lot of trouble because of money issues. They were like strangers. They didn’t say hello to each other when they met. They felt very strange to their cousins. I really want to resolve the contradiction left by the older generations, but there has been no way, because they have a lot of trouble.
M: The only thing you can do is to use your love to continuously convert this kind of hatred. Sometimes you can chat with them, sometimes you can influence them through the people around you, and influence them through knowledgeable or trusted people. Because you are a junior, you tell them that they may not be convinced. To change this state, you have to pay more. Don’t worry about this kind of thing, you can do as much as you can in this situation.
Q: I would like to ask the mage, you said you want to follow the fate, but you have to seize the opportunity when the opportunity arises. So choose to “revolve” or “to grasp”?
M: Seeing this possibility, you must work hard to fight for it. Just like Xianghai Temple, when I came here, everyone in Puyuan didn’t know that there was such a temple. What to do then? We must find a way to expand this influence and let more people know about this place. So we made some signs on the side of the road, and then printed a lot of brochures, and now we have no more than 600,000 copies sent out. As long as they are willing to ask for it, we will provide them in large quantities, and publicize the cultural ideas of the temple for everyone to understand.
Within this scope, it is within my power; within my scope, what I can imagine and can do, I will try my best to do it well. If it is outside of this range, I will definitely not force it, and I will do whatever it takes. It’s like we bought the 70 acres of land behind the main hall last year. I don’t have the funds yet. What should I do?
I asked a friend from Tsinghua University to help me design. After the design was finished, I asked them to help me make a design drawing. We made an empty room at that time and show every design concept behind it with pictures. Then asked them to use 3D graphics to express in the form of video. Although the construction has not yet officially started, we can show some vision.
We can look forward to these things now, and I will do whatever it takes. This is what I said, a certain amount of “quantity” must be gathered to promote “qualitative” changes.
Each of our current meditation sessions is actually to prepare for larger-scale meditation courses in the future. We have teachers, volunteers, and so many people here to study and continue to spread it. This is a very socially meaningful cause. I still have a word up to now, even if the meditation center behind us is built, there will be no high tuition fees. Our philosophy, from beginning to end, is to create an education platform without fences, so that more people will come here to receive the Dharma and change their lives.
I also hope that each of our fellow practitioners can bring home the wisdom of Zen and influence the people around them; at the same time, we welcome everyone to have the opportunity to volunteer here. This is our expectation.
Q: There are many methods of Buddhism, how to choose?
M: There are many schools in Buddhism, such as Pure Land, Zen, and Lyu, etc. They are all different. Taking a little time to sit still every day will strengthen your learning effect. If this person loves to read and has a particularly strong thinking ability, he or she can learn Madhyamaka or Wisdom. The theory is very rich in it, and you can find your own path of practice even if you go deep into it. There are many ways to learn Chan. The main thing is to look at yourself. Nothing is set in stone, and nothing is suitable for everyone.
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